HEAD JUDGE ROB

The day of our local dog show was hot and sunny and Mars attracted a lot of interest amongst the crowd.    As admiring glances were thrown our way I think I can say I was pretty confident, his chocolate coat gleamed a rich deep brown and I could already imagine the red rosette clipped to his collar.

‘ALL SET FOR THE HANDSOMEST DOG COMPETITON’ came booming through the tannoy system.

‘ALL ENTRANTS TO MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE BOWLING GREEN'. 

 

Mars and I sandwiched ourselves in between  a German Shepherd and a Border  Collie. I tried to look indifferent, but secretly I was so proud of my boy.  The groomer had excelled herself.  His ruff and skirt were blow dried to perfection and as he walked I watched the sun pick out deep rich highlights in his long wavy ears. 

‘Attention everyone, attention please, let me introduce your judges.'

'Firstly I think we all know our Head Judge, ‘One man and his dog’ winner Rob Green, he will be ably assisted by our very own vet Michael Smith– oh sorry what’s that Rob'? The commentator paused.

Head Judge Rob made a sweeping movement with his arm, followed by an arresting hand gesture.

The commentary continued 

'Right everyone.  Listen up.  Head Judge Rob has indicated as we have over 40 male dogs in a tight space, it will be impossible for you all to parade round.  So please stay where you are and the judges will come and talk to you one by one'.

The judges made their way  around the ring.  It was clear who the decision maker was, Head Judge Rob felt the dogs over, pointed things out to Michael and appeared to expect him to glean from his gestures his thoughts on each dog. I don’t feel Michael was as adept as picking up Head Judge Rob's cues as a sheep dog would be, but it was the only way - Head Judge Rob was a silent man.

Finally they were standing in front of us.  Mar’s moment had arrived.

Head Judge Rob stood back and slowly examined my boy. 

Mars stood steadfast as a firm hand ran over him. 

‘That’s a good looking dog’ enthused Michael, as they walked away. His was met with silence.

As Head Judge Rob strode forward  Michael tried again. 

‘That spaniel was a looker, shall I mark him down?’

Head Judge Rob turned around thoughtfully. His mouth began working as if speech was unaccustomed to him, but the promise of a verbal exchange had caught the attention of the whole ring and they waited with anticipation for him to speak.

Finally to an enthralled crowd he spoke these five words.

‘TOO SHOWY FOR THESE PARTS’.